I've been getting quite a bit of flak from some of you about being so bad at creating new posts so here are a few new ones to catch you up on some goings on in our family.
Mom's passing on January 29 (funeral Feb 2) was bitter sweet. I wouldn't have wanted her to linger here much longer in the physical condition she was in (the mortician said she only weighed 82 lbs when she died) but knowing she is gone is still hard. Some of sweet memories I have of that time are:
Being in Idaho when she passed was a huge blessing but when we got word she had died I was sad I wasn't at her side. The thought came to me – “Oh well” and immediately I was comforted, especially when I learned the staff was with her and I knew she was not alone. It was early in the morning when we got word and at first I didn't know what to do. So I prayed and received the most wonderful (for lack of a better word) vision of her being with my sister JoAnn. What joy filled my heart. I mean pure joy, the kind that fills your whole being with warmth and support. The thought of my mother who no longer had Alzheimer's being with her daughter who was no longer handicapped filled me with such joy that I was not sad. I was sustained by that thought throughout the entire time we were making plans, visiting with family and friends and actually doing the funeral and burial; what a blessing that was. I considered it a great gift from our Heavenly Father. Each time I would start to feel sad or burdened with all that was going on, the thought of Mom & JoAnn being together would come to my mind and I was instantly comforted. I even felt like I was missing a grand reunion and wished I could be there for the party. This was especially helpful as I spoke at Mom's funeral. As I was preparing this tribute to my Mom I prayed that I could control my emotions and that I wouldn’t talk too long. I had lost my voice two days before and was concerned about being heard as I gave my talk. I scolded Heavenly Father; how could He let such a thing happen at a time when I was visiting with so many people and trying so hard to comfort others and make so many plans. I felt the spirit say to me, “This is an answer to your prayer”. Whatever! I was very puzzled until I thought about it for a moment. If I talked for very long I began to cough and if I cried my voice, weak as it was, failed me completely. When I gave my talk I spoke very softly and slowly, I made it through without too many squeaks and I don’t remember if I coughed or not. Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, but I wasn’t laughing just trying to be grateful. My testimony of the Plan of Salvation has been strengthened so much during these past months. Even before Mom died I had felt prompted to make a few preparations beforehand and was glad I had written Mom's obituary and had thought through a funeral plan. I already believed Mom’s spirit would live after her physical body died and that her spirit would go to paradise where she would be allowed to rest for a season and then continue a work on that side of the veil I don’t fully understand. She would be with her parents, her brother and sister and many other friends and family members who had gone there before. I knew these things before she even died but when she actually passed from mortality these snippets of knowledge became truths I could testify of. I know she is allowed to be with our family and have felt her spirit several times. If we trust that what we’ve been taught about the eternal Plan of Happiness our Heavenly Father has given us then we really shouldn't be overcome by grief at the passing of a loved one.
We had a family get together the day before the funeral so we could go over the funeral plans and we let Dad give a folder of fifty cent coins Grandma Siddoway had saved over the years and which Mom & Dad had divided up so all of us and each of the grandkids could have some. It was a touching time. Neil had brought some handbags and we had a great time letting the girls chose a bag.
We chose to use one of Mom's crocheted afghans and a small floral arrangement on her casket which was very beautiful rather than a large floral bouquet. The time at the cemetery was very brief because it was very cold. The great grandchildren were each were given a helium filled balloon to release just before we left the cemetery. These kinds of events made it seem personal for everyone there. We had each grandchild participate in some way on the funeral program.
Thank you to everyone who participated in any way to help us remember the wonderful person she was and the way she touched each of our hearts. Anyone who knew Norma Siddoway Ward is a better person for having known her.
Dad continues to improve. My younger brother Neil has moved back to Teton to care for Dad (we let the live in nurse we hired after Mom's death go)and Neil is working to update some things in Mom & Dad's house. Dad has some dementia issues but with summer coming we are all hopeful he will get outside and enjoy digging in the dirt and continue to heal from the lose of his best friend and eternal sweetheart. He even had helped Neil restart his sourdough. The first attempt was disaster but each batch gets better and better. Dad would enjoy frequent visits from any who has time to stop in for even a minute or two. He may choke up a bit if you mention Mom but please don't hesitate to reminisce about their lives together with memories you have of Mom & Dad together. Hopefully it will help Dad to continue to heal. And the better he does the better we each do as well.
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